Posted 9:03 AM by Bonnie

Parents. Most of us have them. Some of us are them. Most of us have had "moments" with our parents that either marked a greater understanding in the parent-child relationship, or signified the beginning of the end of our interaction. Similarly, those of us with kids have often experienced turning points where, in a blinding flash of reality, we truly "got" what it meant to be a parent.
For this month's Blogging for Books, write about a pivotal point in your life as a parent, OR write about a pivotal point in your relationship with one of your parents.
Enter your entry as a post on your own blog, then come back here and leave a link to your entry as a comment on this post. (If you do not have a blog, you can ask Charone or Georganna to host your entry.) You have until 6am Pacific Time on Tuesday, July 12th to enter. On Friday the 15th, Kim and I will announce the top seven entries. A few days after that, guest author Ann Douglas will choose the top three posts. All three winners will receive either a signed copy of one of Ann's books on birth and parenting, or a copy of one of the following from our stockpile:

Bowling for Mother by Bonnie Johnson

When the phone rang I was expecting a call from a new boyfriend, so was surprised to hear my mother’s voice on the other end.
“We need a bowler for our Friday night league,” she said. “Would you be willing to fill in?”
Now to say my mother and I didn’t get along at that time would be an understatement, which made her request even more surprising. Of course, I was the only daughter who bowled, too, so if she needed a quick replacement I was the obvious choice.
“I know it’s a bunch of older women,” she continued, “but we need someone fast and don’t have time to post for a bowler. We’re in first place right now and without a fifth bowler we’d have to forfeit our games.”
Aha! I thought to myself. I knew there was a catch. But, hey, I had Friday nights open and I did love to bowl, so why not?
“Sure, I’ll do it,” I told her. “I’ll need a ride though.”
Living in Erie, PA and having an apartment right on the bus line was more than a convenience. The bus not only took me downtown to my job, but also to any other bus I would need to get around Erie. So, for me a car was not a necessity.
My mother sighed before answering. “Well, I have to pick Jean up so I may as well pick you up too. Just be ready to go by 6:30 PM.”
When my mom arrived to pick me up I was waiting at the door and hurried out. I knew how impatient she could get when she was in a hurry. After we picked Jean up we headed for the lanes.
Once there I was introduced to the rest of the team and then left on my own. Of course, they were old friends and had lots to talk about, so between my turns I roamed the lanes and met some of the other women and made some friends.
As we were leaving some of the women, from the other teams, talked with my mother.
“Your daughter is so funny!” one told her as my mother looked stunned.
“Don’t forget to call me,” another called out to me. “We have to get together and finish our conversation.”
“Hey, Babe,” another said to my mother, “you never mentioned you had another good bowler in the family!”
“What did you do?” Jean asked a bit sarcastically. “Did you go make friends with every other bowler on the league? Remember, they are our competition and we’re here to beat them not befriend them.”
I didn’t understand that attitude, because for me bowling was a game and just that. As far as league bowling went I enjoyed it, but wasn’t much for competition if it took the fun out of the game and it sure sounded like it was all business for this team.
Jean glared at me as a group of women, from their closest opponents, invited me to stay for drinks. I explained I had to leave because I was riding with my mother.
“Don’t worry about it,” Jen, the leader of the other team laughed. “One of us will make sure you get home.”
As I put my ball and shoes away my mother approached me. “You know,” she said. “I really envy you. I’ve been bowling with this same league for a couple years and still don’t know most of the women. You have this ability to walk into a room of strangers and leave with a room of friends.”
I looked at her in amazement. “It’s true,” she continued. “I walk into a room of strangers and leave a room of strangers. I have always wished I could be more like you.”
My beautiful, slender, well liked mother was envious of me? I couldn’t believe it.
“Thank you,” was all I could say to this revelation. Here all my life I thought my mother disliked me when all the time she wanted to be like me! “That’s funny,” I finally managed to say when the shock wore off. “All my life I’ve wanted to be like you!” I told her. “I wanted people to say how sweet and nice I was instead of how bold and forward I am. But, it’s just the way I am and I couldn’t pretend to be otherwise.”
“I guess I worry too much about whether the other person will like me or not, and that intimidates me enough to keep me from approaching a new person,” my mother stated.

We both laughed at each others statements. After that we both viewed each other differently and were able to open up and talk with each other. Since then we have been best of friends and have been able to trade the child/parent relationship for a woman to woman one. My mother is now in her eighties and no longer bowls. I have lost interest over the years as other activities have taken over my time. But, I will be forever grateful to the game for bringing my mother and I closer together.