Posted 11:38 AM by Bonnie

What is a ZephyrBird? There is no definition. A ZephyrBird is unexplainable and undefinable.

On the subject of cats: Cats are natures way of allowing humans to pet the tiger.

A man who absolutely hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving
him at the park.
As he was nearing home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day, he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away and try the same thing.

As we was driving back into his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat farther and farther away, but the darn cat
would always beat him home.

At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so
on until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and he left the cat there.

Hours later, the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"

"Yes," the wife answers. "Why do you ask?"

Frustrated, the man answers: "Put that damn cat on the phone. I'm lost and I need directions!"


On Life in general: It is said everything we needed to know about life we learned in kindergarten. I believe that is true. These are other great truths in life.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge . . . mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its
ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not
the joy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while
you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a
rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody
bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

On War and Politics

I was born during WWII. On Oct. 20 1951 the U.S. and Germany officially ended the war to end all wars. All I know about WWII is what I learned in history class and from stories overheard when my parents and their friends were talking. The enemy was clear and defined.

In grade school we had airraid drills. We lay lined up in the hallway, heads against the wall, arms covering our heads, or stayed in the classroom crouched under our desks. I never understood how that would save us if we were bombed by the Communists. Our clear and defined enemies. My sixth grade teacher, had us stand and sing the National Anthem and told us if the communists ever invaded our classroom we were to stand and sing the anthem. I guess she understood what we all knew already. If the communists, our clear and defined enemy, took over they would kill us so we may as well go down singing :-).

In the 60's we were in 'conflict' in Vietnam. For the first time I looked closely and realized our government was not only not infallible, but they were wrong. We were in a war that had no meaning and no clear and defined enemy. The age of innocence came to an abrupt ending with killings at home during peace rallies. Give Peace a Chance. We were a nation divided. Those who felt you were only patriotic if you supported the war and those who felt we had no business being in VietNam and protested the war. The line was clearly drawn on the homefront. We grew up.

I never thought through all these years and wars I would ever be afraid. It always seemed we were the untouchable country. War would never reach our soil. Now our president is setting us up for sure disaster. Oil is more important than our country remaining free. For the first time we are losing all the rights our constitution granted us and we are sitting by complacently allowing this to happen. Our govt. is asking us to spy on our neighbors and report any so-called unpatriotic behaviour. Cameras watch us everywhere. On the streets, in the banks, the grocery store, our online access is monitored, our mail is scrutinized, we can't even fly and keep our luggage private. Our lives will never be the same. Our govt. blames this on 9/11/2001 when the Al-quaeda flew two planes into the twin towers of the world trade centers. I blame our government for allowing the terrorists to win. They are afraid and that makes me afraid. I have met the enemy and it is our own government.