Posted 8:13 PM by Bonnie

More on Marianismo or women sacrificing their lives for children.... another blogger has stated there is no debate on this subject. I beg to differ! She now states as "Quite simply put, until men can give birth, it will be the woman’s decision to have children. She is the one to make the final choice and sacrifice. She is the one that will gain weight, vomit, go through major hormone changes etc. For nine months her body will be the sole support for a new life, totally dependent upon her. Everything she does, eats, drinks will have an effect on that life. During that nine month period a bond of total dependency forms between a mother and child. If a mother chooses to breastfeed, the child is still dependent upon the mother’s body total nourishment. This is a bond men simply can not comprehend because they don’t live it. That’s not to say men don’t form a bond, they do, but it’s not quite the same bond.

There is more to her post but I am going to deal with this part for the here and now. Is there a different bonding between mother and child and father and child. Of course, but does it make the father's bonding any less significant? No. Yes, women go through all the biological changes and are the ones to give birth. That is a fact of nature. I almost get the impression from the post the woman who posted feels it was men who decided women would be the ones to go through the birth process. No, she didn't state that, it was just a feeling I got. I also have the feeling she has never given birth and shared that experience with a male partner, be it a husband or a boyfriend. As I stated before I have not raised children, but I did go through the birth process and because I had a choice I chose to put my daughter up for adoption. More on choices later, but for now, I just want to clear up that gaining weight, the hormone changes, having the child growing inside you depending on you and even the vomiting :-) is not a sacrifice. Until you have carried that child inside you you will never know the pure joy you feel. I do feel it is too bad men cannot experience this as in all my life and all the thrills and excitement and adventures I have experienced none have come close to the experience of carrying that child inside me and ultimately giving birth. Even knowing I would not be raising her I have to say that was the greatest experience of my life. Love is not sacrifice.

And if you believe her statement men do not form the same strong bonds with children as women do please read Karl's post Being In Love